How to have truly remarkable and amazing relationships

In last week’s post, I made the observation that we have a “story” about almost everyone in our life. In other words, we don’t just observe other people and stay completely neutral about who they are, we make up, not necessarily realizing that we do it, a “story” about who they are. And here’s the worst part about this: the story tends to be critical and judgmental. Even when the story is nice or loving, it’s still a story.

I then offered an alternative. I suggested that if you want to have not only good but amazing relationships with the people in your life, let go of your stories. Start to relate to people as a possibility.

I’m clear from the feedback I received that this post really opened many eyes and I appreciate the many e mails I received thanking me for waking people up. That being the case, I want to take an even deeper cut at this whole issue of our relationship to other people.

At the deepest level, the reason all of this is an issue in the first place is that we live in an ego dominated world (as I have written about many times). And it’s important to remember that in the world of the ego, each of us is separate; separate from our creator, separate from nature, and separate from each other. And the fact that each of us has a separate body just reinforces that belief. Further, in the world of the ego, each of us is separate and alone in a hostile universe. So you’re over there, I’m over here, we’re separate and you’re the enemy.

In that world, can you see that your ONLY choice is to make up a story about almost everyone in your life and to have that story be critical and judgmental? It has to be that way because at some deep level, everyone else is an enemy. So if you really want to escape from the dilemma I posed last week, you have to understand that you do what you do because your ego has you do it. And be very clear: you do not consciously choose to do this so don’t make yourself wrong or feel you need to defend yourself. The ego is truly vicious. It has you do this totally unconsciously.

Why I’m so committed to the Unshackled Leadership philosophy is because it offers you a completely different choice. That philosophy introduces you to the world of your higher consciousness, the world of spirit, the world of possibility. In that world, just because each of us has a separate body, that does not mean that we’re separate. We were all sourced by the same loving, creative force. In that world, you’re not the enemy, you’re my brother. We are one, we’re in this together, if you win I win, if you lose I lose. This is the world of peace, joy, love and harmony.

Here’s the biggest problem: do you read the newspaper? Is that the world you read about every day? Is that the world you see in Israel, Gaza, Ukraine, Irag, Afghanistan, and Iran? Is that the world you see in Washington, DC? Is that the world you see on the streets of our cities? I think I’ve made my point. The ego is having its way with us and it’s not pretty.

While I doubt that any of us are going to go to any of the places I just mentioned, there is surely something we can ALL do to make this a better world, to make our companies better and our family life a lot happier. Choose to not live in the world of the ego. Instead, choose to live in the world of your higher consciousness. Choose to be a loving, compassionate and kind human being. In addition to relating to people as a possibility, choose to see them as your friend and brother. I remind myself every morning that ONLY appreciation is an appropriate response to another.

What I’m discussing here was the true strength behind Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra and many many others. I can promise you that anyone that you can point to who was for you someone you looked up to as the type of role model you wished you were, was someone who had learned to live in the alternative world I am pointing to.

Sound all too woo woo? I assure you it’s not. This is what I work on every day. And the big payoff is that it’s made me a lot happier human being. So try it. I promise you won’t regret that you did. 

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