It is our assertion that in every situation, in business and indeed life itself, there are always only two choices. I know it often doesn’t appear that way, but we say that is the way it is. And, to make matters worse (or better, depending on your point of view), one choice works and the other does not.
One example is that you can either try and be in charge of everything, try to be in control, or you can learn to just trust that the universe is on your side, surrender, go with the flow, and enjoy the ride. So for all of you control freaks, which is probably most of you, I invite you to consider the following:
One of the principle ways the ego robs you of your peace is having you believe that unless you take charge of your business, and your life, things will never turn out the way you want. And you buy into its game. So I ask you: how’s it working out for you? Are you really able to control your destiny? Do you feel like you’re really in charge? Are you really able to control all of the circumstances of your daily existence and have things work out exactly the way you want?
I’d bet that if you answered those questions honestly, your answers are clearly “no!” Which is why it’s an ego game. The ego will do anything to have you be unhappy, frustrated, disappointed, whatever. And that’s exactly how you feel when you try to be in control.
Here’s the other choice (and I say the far better one): learn to trust! I just conducted a two week experiment to see how this would work if I was absolutely willing to do exactly this and boy was I rewarded.
Two weeks ago, Freddi (my partner in life) and I set out on an international adventure. We had to take 3 flights to get from Santa Ana to Copenhagen, Denmark, we had to find our hotel when we arrived, we had to then travel to Sweden, Finland, Russia, Estonia, Poland, back to Sweden and back to Denmark. Every day we had to take trains, buses and even bicycles to get to various places, in countries where we didn’t speak the language, and often had no idea how to accomplish what we needed to accomplish.
To make a long story short, I realized going in that there were an overwhelming number of elements, including the weather, which had to be dealt with. So I decided to take the path I’m suggesting here and just trust. I literally made an agreement with myself that I would not try and plan anything other than what had already been planned and I would just go with the flow.
I often watched in amazement as to how perfectly everything unfolded. The weather every day was perfect. Everything needed to handle what was next just showed up. Here’s one striking example: we arrived in the Polish town of Gdynia and had to go to the town of Gdansk. I had been told that the best way to go was to take the train, but was warned that I would need to take a cab to the train station and nobody would speak English.
As we waited to get off the ship we were on, we overheard some folks talking about going to Gdansk so we asked if we could follow along. To make matters even better, one of them spoke Polish. So they arranged (and paid for) the cab, bought us our train tickets, and got us on the right train. I just happened to sit next to someone from Poland who not only spoke great English, but also was going to Gdansk to visit a friend and when the train arrived, he guided us to exactly where we needed to go.
That’s how it went every day. Just remarkable. So if you want to have a joyous experience of life and business, let go of needing to control everything, it doesn’t work anyway and you know it, and just learn to surrender, go with the flow, and enjoy the ride on the river. In the final analysis, it’s always better to go in the direction of the flow rather than trying to steer your boat yourself.